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Alone and Lonely

“Being alone and actually sitting with our own thoughts can lead to such growth and realizations that are rare in our everyday busy lives.”

Kourtney Kardashian

As I currently live alone and in a rural location in Australia, I am often asked the question, do I get lonely? My reply is often the same; I simply say that I am not really prone to loneliness. However, that doesn’t mean to say that from time to time I do in fact, miss not having company around. But one does not necessarily lead to the other.

In these turbulent times of social distancing, and societal isolation due to travel restrictions; with families and friends restricted from being able to visit the people we love and care about, there seems to be a growing concern about the loneliness this may be creating.

There is a giant universal void that lies between being alone, and being lonely. To be ‘alone’ is simply stating a fact of circumstance, being ‘lonely’ is to describe a state of mind that we are experiencing. Of course we love being with the people we care about and this often brings us joy and a sense of deeper wellbeing. Yet it doesn’t necessarily equate that we will always feel lonely because we cannot be in the same living space as our loved ones.

It is interesting to note, that many of us will have experienced the feeling of being lonely in a crowded room, perhaps at a party or a gathering where we are either not feeling ourselves or perhaps we have a sense of being isolated from the people that surround us. So we begin to see that feeling lonely has very little to do with being alone. In fact the word ‘alone’ is a compound word derived from: ‘At-one-with-all’. That is to say that being alone could be seen as essentially synonymous with the experience of universal ‘oneness’, or ‘all-ness’; it is this sense of a deep connectedness with all life that we can sometimes experience. This state of affinity with the universe and all that lives within it, is the state that we were born in and the experience most of us, consciously or unconsciously make every endeavour to return to. It is the desire in us to have a good life.

Sometimes we might eat certain foods in an attempt to take away those feelings of loneliness; sometimes we may play music to fill the void we feel within. Yet, ultimately the feeling persists because ‘feeling’ is married to ‘thinking’, and cannot be separated. Only in our imagination is there a gap between how we feel, and what we are thinking.

There are a multitude of songs written about loneliness and invariably their content points towards the same thing each time, although there may be exceptions to this rule, it is often to the circumstances of a persons life that the song points, as the cause of this experience of loneliness. Suggesting as it were, that there really is nothing we can do when we are lonely, it’s simply how things are. But in reality things are only as we see them via our thinking.

This is not to say that being alone, we cannot feel lonely, or that we will necessarily experience a deep sense of universal ‘oneness’, every time we are alone. Yet what it does point towards is the simple fact that it is the thinking we do around our circumstances that creates the experience we are having in any given moment. And moreover, it is not the circumstances making us feel alone or lonely. These same circumstances may in fact influence our thinking, and thus lead to feelings associated with that thinking, but they cannot influence them in any way except via our own thoughts. Our state of mind is the deciding factor in how we end up feeling.

When Wordsworth ponders as he ‘… wandered lonely as a cloud’, he speaks of this deep and spiritual connection to nature. This can happen to all of us at any given moment. In fact it can be experienced in retrospect too, we could actually be with people, drift into a daydream about some magical moment in our lives, and ‘boom’ we experience the oneness of life again. We are not alone, but we are still experiencing the connectedness of all things.

This is the wonder of life. Once we really see the true nature of Thought, it becomes increasingly difficult to be truly ‘lonely’ or any other negative state of mind for any great length of time. This is because once the mind has seen through the illusion of our personal thinking; this thinking becomes secondary to the peaceful quiet mind that lies just below the surface of that same thinking. The ancients called this wisdom, and contemporary thinking often calls it common sense or even intuition.

The good news here is there is no path that leads directly to psychological freedom, because psychological freedom is our birth-right and our natural state, when we truly see this, we are set free from the shackles of being lonely and towards a deeper sense of being At-One-With-All, whatever our circumstances happen to be.

 

The Guiding Light of Wisdom

‘That which fills the gap between what we believe is time, and the living of our everyday lives is simply Thought’. D R-E

Have you ever caught yourself saying something to the effect of: “Wow, the day sure did go quickly today.” Or “Life seems to speed up the older I get”, and no doubt most of you will have heard the phrase: “Time flies when you’re having fun”. Of course, if that is true then the opposite would be true too, i.e., time can really seem to drag when you are doing something that you don’t really enjoy, and I am certain most of us have had that experience at some point in our lives.

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The Alchemy of Consciousness

“If you can concentrate always on the present, […] Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we’re living now.”  

Paulo Coelho

The true art of alchemy is not as history would have us believe, to turn base metal into gold, but moreover, to transform the ignoble and mundane experiences of our lives into the pure luminescent moments of brilliant and golden neutrality of the most beautiful kind.

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Tranquility versus Tranquilization

‘The secret to happiness is not to go out there and try and find it, because happiness is not out there. Happiness is within the consciousness of every human being.’ 
Sydney Banks

Since time began, or so it would seem, people have made every effort to move way from pain and suffering and transition as swiftly as possible back towards peace of mind. This is a natural and logical response: we have bad feelings; we want to be rid of them! We have a head full of thoughts we wish we could simply switch it off.

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A Dream within a Dream

“Life is a dream suspended in the bounds of time space and matter”

Life as we know it is experienced through the senses. It is thought turned into action; it is a dream within a dream. When we open our eyes in this world of form and become seduced by its beauty, we innocently and momentarily close our minds to the spiritual source of life. It is not that we purposefully ignore it; we simply become distracted by life.

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The Matrix of Illusion III: No Way Back

Trinity: “But you’re out, Cypher. You can’t go back”.

Cypher: “Oh no. That’s what you think. They’re going to reinsert my body. I go back to sleep and when I wake up I won’t remember a goddamn thing …”.

From the movie The Matrix

There is an old saying from western culture that tells us a great lie: ‘Ignorance is bliss’. The truth of the matter is more like: ‘an understanding of the Three Principles is bliss’, but there is a curious thing that can sometimes happen. I have seen this phenomenon occurring many times over the past ten years. People get an exposure of how we create our own reality via the Power of MindConsciousness and Thought, they make some progress in their lives but they still go back and do things that they would rather not do. There is one simple answer to this; there is hearing, then there is Hearing. As Sydney Banks always reminded us, the first of these two is simply an intellectual understanding, which really takes us nowhere. The second is a deep and meaningful Hearing from beyond the words of this world, and bypasses the intellect altogether because it has nothing to do with the intellect. It is a feeling deep within our soul. Once this deeper Hearing occurs there is no going back. 

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The Matrix of Illusion II: Human Resilience

Neo: “What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?”

 Morpheus: “No, Neo. I’m trying to tell you that when you’re ready, you won’t have to”.

From the movie The Matrix

What if I was to suggest that there is no such thing as a ‘negative person’, or a ‘positive person’, an ‘optimistic person’, or a ‘pessimistic person’, a ‘happy person’, or a ‘sad person’, an ‘anxious person’ or a ‘super confident person’. That they are all simply ways to describe a state of being, created via the Power of Thought in any given moment or situation, in any given person. We can never be only one particular kind of person; we are simply a being that has the capacity to think a multitude of thoughts creating any combination of follow-on feelings, making us in a way, an in-the-moment person. What we think becomes what we feel and who we are in that moment alone. Of course we may continue to run a mindset of cyclical thinking that gives the impression to us, and to the world, that we are fixed in some way, but this is not possible, we are constantly in a state transformation moving as we do from one thought to the next.

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The Magical Land of Home

‘I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself’. 
Maya Angelou

For an eternity it seemed like I had no place I really felt at home (sound familiar?). A friend’s mother once commented that she had more entries in her address book for me than anyone else in her life. I have moved more times than I can actually remember now and at each place of residence, I have made myself as comfortable as I could. Having not actually enjoyed my early years, nor living in the cramped conditions of my teenage years, I was glad to fly the nest at nineteen. As I moved from one place to the next, I suppose I was unconsciously looking for that hangout we call home; a place to feel comforted, a place of nurturing and peace.

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The Doctor Doolittle Phenomenon: The Universal Language of All Things

MindConsciousness and Thought are the complete Trinity of all psychological functioning … [a]ll living creatures, great and small, interpret what they think of life via these divine gifts’.

Sydney Banks

Being the 80th birthday year of Dr. Jane Goodall and the fact that I was going to see her in Sydney, as she conducted her tour of Australia, got me thinking about the curious fact of language beyond words. When we are born and for the first couple of years we have what is known as non-verbal thinking. Yet, they are still thoughts all the same. Of course, if asked what ‘Thought’ really is, most of us are at a loss to say exactly what it is. We all know we ‘think’, but pinning it down into words and concepts we trip over ourselves because it is like a slippery fish, ever evading our capture.

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